This topic has so many perspectives that it is hard to exhaust it. The scriptures try to give us guidelines that help us to live our best lives. It is also written within the context of us having free will which The Almighty always respects. We felt led to do another part to this series that summarizes what we believe the scripture says about it. So in this article we will look at the rule and the exceptions.
The Messiah made reference to the beginning as the prototype of what marriage should be like. So the woman was formed for the man by The Almighty. She was from his side which alludes to them being made from similar material. The woman was then presented to the man by Him , which means Adam accepted the Almighty’s choice and did not do the choosing on His own. Given however that they chose to disobey Him there after, speaks to the unpredictable nature of mankind as they have freewill. This disobedience then opened the door for Satan’s nature of rebellion to corrupt mankind.
So what Messiah said was ” in the beginning it was not so”, meaning before Man was driven from the Garden it was not so. Man dwelling in the presence of The Almighty and being obedient to Him is not going to need a divorce. However, man living in rebellion will.
Since the Almighty did not stop them from disobeying Him, why would He then stop them from leaving each other if they wanted to. He does not. However, He does give some parameters or boundaries that are meant to discourage the frequency and ease with which it happens.
Scriptural grounds for divorce
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house. 2 And if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies.4 Then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Almighty. Do not bring sin upon the land the Almighty your Alahim is giving you as an inheritance.
Deut. 24
This word uncleanness covers a range of unacceptable behavior based on the torah. However, the torah scholars still found a way to disagree about what it meant. Some felt that as long as the man was displeased with the woman , he could put her away for any reason. While others felt it should only be done if there was sexual misconduct. The schools were called Hillel and Shamai.
It was against this background that the messiah was asked the question in Mathew 19
“Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”………………In the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and he that shall marry her that is put away, commits adultery.”
Mathew 19
This answer is similar to Deuteronomy 24, what The Messiah did was to endorse what was already written.
The New Testament perspective
In the old testament the word for unclean was : ʻervah from H6168; nudity, literally or figuratively (disgrace, blemish); nakedness, shame, unclean (-ness).
Israel was a nation and other nations were considered to be pagan. They were instructed by The Most High, not to intermarry with other nations. This was easy to adhere to given that the other nations were distinctly different, like the Amorites. etc. After the death of Messiah however when gentiles were grafted in. It was not as easy to determine who an unbeliever was. Since now it was not their nationality that made them righteous, but it was now faith in The Almighty through the Messiah.
This now could only be determined by outward conduct. Although it was still a requirement that believers not marry unbelievers.” Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” So here Paul gives us another grounds for divorce.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
1 corithians 7 v 15
The conclusion of the matter
The person who does not want to reconcile is considered to be an unbeliever. This is supported by Mathew 18. ” If your brother or sister[b] sins,[c] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[d] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
The Most High designed man to need His guidance and direction. Just like how the eastern culture practiced arranged marriages that were done by parents, The Almighty wants to arrange our marriages like He did Adam and Chava’s/Eve’s. This will not guarantee success but it will definitely increase the odds. Given that we all have free will and can choose at any given time to rebel against Him, when we do He puts laws in place to help to protect others. Marriage requires two people to agree to live together in harmony. If one decides they want to violate the laws of The Almighty, then the other is allowed to remarry after divorce.