So recently we learned that resentment is a product of envy and jealousy and not necessarily from the offense and unforgiveness family. There is no one cause of resentment, but most cases involve an underlying sense of being mistreated or wronged by another person. Often because we have compared someone to our standard or others.
Did you know that resentment can weaken your immune system while increasing stress and anxiety and the risk of heart disease, hypertension, stroke, cancer, alcoholism, drug addiction, compulsive behavior, weight gain, mood swings, depression and burnout, and it’s been linked to a shortened lifespan. https://www.theemotionalinstitute.com/blog/resentment
It seems to occur when we compare. We have the tendency to compare ourselves to others which can create envy and jealousy. If we feel the other person is better then we feel envy, which creates resentment. If we compare others like our spouse to others then we often feel our spouse falls short and then in comes resentment. We also compare possessions and careers etc. the list is unending.
Resentment eats away at our affection and robs us of contentment. We become discontent with ourselves and others.
I am not saying this out of need, for I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances. 12I know how to live humbly, and I know how to abound. I am accustomed to any and every situation—to being filled and being hungry, to having plenty and having need.…
Philipians 4
But godliness/righteousness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
1 timothy 6 v 11
Truly comparison causes covetousness which started when Satan compared himself to The Almighty and wanted to be like Him.
You said in your heart,
f‘I will ascend to heaven;
above the stars of God/Almighty
gI will set my throne on high;
I will sit on the mount of assembly
in the far reaches of the north;3
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High.’
Isiah 14 v 12-14
This could be why it is mentioned as one of the commandments.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.
exodus 20 v 17
Comparison is not appropriate for people
We all have different finger prints because we are all unique. This means that our differences should be embraced and accepted. Comparison either produces envy and jealousy or pride and superiority. None of these are traits that endear us to others or help us to love ourselves.
In the case of males and females we are very different and yet we manage to compare ourselves to each other. Then this leads to judgement, criticism . We usually then want to express our opinions to others so that produces slander and backbiting. Which comes from resentment in the heart.
So judgement should be done of our own lives by measuring our behavior against the word of Yah. Not against others.
Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.
2 corithians 10 v 12
But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.
Galations 6v4-5
Racism is a by product of comparison. Pride and bigotry makes others feel put down. We were created to be valued as equals , not to compete. Competition is the enemies weapon to cause strife, division and hate. The Almighty our Creator wants us to love each other.
9 He also told this parable to some cwho trusted din themselves that they were righteous, eand treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men fwent up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, gstanding by himself, prayed1 hthus: ‘God/Elohim, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 iI fast twice a week; jI give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, gstanding far off, kwould not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but lbeat his breast, saying, ‘God/ The Most High, mbe merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For neveryone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
luke 18 v 9 – 14
Instead of trying to outdo each other we should seek to have all things common.
All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.
acts 2 v 44-45
How to prevent resentment
We must change the way we think.
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God/Elohim, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ/Mashyach;
2 corithians 10
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
philipians 4
If we are able to have a more accurate view of ourselves. This will naturally help us to be more humble.
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
Mathew 7 v5
Instead of comparing ourselves to others we should seek to have all things common. So where we are strong we should try to help those who are weak.
We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.
romans 15 v 1-2
We should seek to compliment each other not compete with each other. Help each other not impress each other. Our constant desire should be to share what we have not brag about what we have.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself
mathew 22 v 39
Real unity cannot be built on competition.
We were designed to love each other and to need each other. When we compare and compete it causes toxic emotions to develop in us like jealousy, envy, hate, pride, resentment etc.
Because of the mind body soul connection, this way of thinking makes us sick.
When we want to help each other, then love is produced and love heals.
The heart of The Father is love and we were created to be the best version of ourselves when we love.
Competition breeds comparison and comparison causes jealousy and envy which produces resentment or pride. Both of which corrupts our heart and makes us unclean.
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Mathew 5 v 22
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. 3
Ephesians 4 v 31
Once we desire to be better than someone else we are on a slippery slope it means we are going to take every opportunity to put them down or exalt ourselves. The by product of this is hate, gossip, slander etc.
The love of the world runs on competition.
5Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but from the world.…
1 john 2 v 15